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"Dying is easy; comedy is hard."
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"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
"All the jokes in my films, the comedy, they're not me, I just try to hold a big mirror up to us."
"I know the fashion is that everything is fair game [for comedy material] but I don't believe that."
"Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. 'How does he always get food stuck to him?' I asked Morelli. 'I don't know,' Morelli said. 'It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in it. I'm not sure.'-Morelli And Stephanie."
"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."
"I don't think being a comedian gives you any fucking insight into what makes people laugh."
"It's okay. I'm-'Fine? Joseph chimed in. 'Obviously not. You need to be checked out by a doctor. 'I am a doctor. I rolled my eyes at him, but that didn't deter him from his train of thought. 'Not that kind of doctor.'What is 'that kind of doctor' going to say when they see my shimmering pink blood, Joseph? I changed my voice to mimic one of a concerned doctor. 'I'm sorry ma'am, you appear to be suffering from a mild case of Pretty Pretty Princess syndrome. Have you ingested any magical woodland faeries recently?"
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