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"Fun fact: You may hug koalas in the Australian state of New South Wales, but not in Queensland. So, if you didn't hug your koala nice and tight before you got here to Sydney, you're going to be shit out of luck until we go back to Surfer's Paradise."
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"Evidence indicates that cats were first tamed in Egypt. The Egyptians stored grain, which attracted rodents, which attracted cats. (No evidence that such a thing happened with the Mayans, though a number of wild cats are native to the area.) I don't think this is accurate. It is certainly not the whole story. Cats didn't start as mousers. Weasels and snakes and dogs are more efficient as rodent-control agents. I postulate that cats started as psychic companions, as Familiars, and have never deviated from this function."
"Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old."
"My parents were very permissive when it came to animals. As long as we earned the money to buy them and built whatever structure it was they were going to live in, we could have any kind of pet we wanted. They would have let us have a rhinoceros if we could have afforded it."
"If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much."
Explore more quotes by Elle Lothlorien
"Turns out rolling your eyes in a bar when 'Land Down Under' plays is like someone belching during the Star Spangled Banner in America."
"Once the principals in their party are seated, with those lower on the totem pole left to grumble and move on to find another table, our once-cozy booth transforms into a damp fusion of vacuous wretchedness, with the three women all complaining alternately about their wet hair/clothes and their respective distance from Talon, while the man himself is trying to maneuver his Paul Bunyan frame way too close to me."
"Oh, Alice, you haven't even had a taste of my romantic streak yet. And when the time's right I don't think I'll have to 'try' to have my way with you. I just WILL."
"I like it because when people use a lot of poker lingo, it usually means they've been playing the game for a while. Which is why I immediately avoid those people."
"Do you really think I'd let him call my sister a 'bitch?' Or you for that matter? Talon Hawk's dumb, but he's smarter than that he'd be crawling around on his hands and knees picking his teeth off the tiles."
"Did you forget a dentist appointment or something, big guy? Where the hell did you hop off to?"
"Who are you? Rabbit and Souris call you 'Alice,' me and Dee call you 'Faye.' I just didn't know if 'Alice' was your poker-playing, Southern Hemisphere name or what. Hey, I'm just trying to fit in here. If I should be introducing myself as 'Clark,' I want to know about it sooner rather than later so I don't embarrass myself."
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