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"Fun fact: You may hug koalas in the Australian state of New South Wales, but not in Queensland. So, if you didn't hug your koala nice and tight before you got here to Sydney, you're going to be shit out of luck until we go back to Surfer's Paradise."
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Exlpore more Animals quotes
"I would, therefore, say that for no reason whatsoever, except in self-defence, should one think of killing any animal."
"Evidence indicates that cats were first tamed in Egypt. The Egyptians stored grain, which attracted rodents, which attracted cats. (No evidence that such a thing happened with the Mayans, though a number of wild cats are native to the area.) I don't think this is accurate. It is certainly not the whole story. Cats didn't start as mousers. Weasels and snakes and dogs are more efficient as rodent-control agents. I postulate that cats started as psychic companions, as Familiars, and have never deviated from this function."
Explore more quotes by Elle Lothlorien
"I grimace, thinking someone should come up with a new phrase for 'I left the ocean without a kiwi-sized chunk of my lower-left butt cheek' to replace the rather nebulous term 'exploratory bite."
"I look around briefly at the other players like I always do before a game. Other than Queenie, Bill, and Talon, I don't know any of them (and I don't care enough about them to know them). But if there's going to be any cordiality, any forced politeness or 'Aw, shucks, let's all just try to have a good time here tonight' kind of blather, then now's the time to get it out of the way before I get down to the business of screwing everyone out of their hopes and dreams."
"This is from the queen? And you say it's for a mouse? I'm sorry, sir, but the Pyramid Hotel doesn't allow any pets except for service animals."
"I'm almost afraid to tell you. Let's put it this way: clean toilets are the least of your problems in this country."
"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."
"Would you like to hear about the fascinating things lizards can do if you chew off their tails?"
"Oh, Alice, you haven't even had a taste of my romantic streak yet. And when the time's right I don't think I'll have to 'try' to have my way with you. I just WILL."
"Oh, and Mr. Montgomery? I think I counted about four dozen important-sounding words and almost no substance at all in that explanation. I don't think you should close the door on your diplomatic career entirely."
"You're in the country of the kangaroo and the duck-billed platypus, and you're asking 'why is it a mushroom? Because it just IS."
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