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"Fun fact: You may hug koalas in the Australian state of New South Wales, but not in Queensland. So, if you didn't hug your koala nice and tight before you got here to Sydney, you're going to be shit out of luck until we go back to Surfer's Paradise."
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"I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;Her coat is one of the tabby kind,with tiger stripes and lepard spots."
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Personal Development
"Animals will always have sad eyes because they can see into the soul of man."
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Personal Development
"I hate cats."Death's face became a little stiffer, if that were possible. The blue glow in his eye sockets flickered red for an instant."I SEE," he said. The tone suggested that death was too good for cat haters."
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"All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."
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Personal Development
"Cats gravitate to kitchens like rocks gravitate to gravity."
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Personal Development
"Brute animals have the vowel sounds; man only can utter consonants."
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Personal Development
"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
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Personal Development
"Nothing can be more obvious than that all animals were created solely and exclusively for the use of man."
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Personal Development
"When the little mouse, which was loved as none other was in the mouse-world, got into a trap one night and with a shrill scream forfeited its life for the sight of the bacon, all the mice in the district, in their holes were overcome by trembling and shaking; with eyes blinking uncontrollably they gazed at each other one by one, while their tails scraped the ground busily and senselessly. Then they came out, hesitantly, pushing one another, all drawn towards the scene of death. There it lay, the dear little mouse, its neck caught in the deadly iron, the little pink legs drawn up, and now stiff the feeble body that would so well have deserved a scrap of bacon.The parents stood beside it and eyed their child's remains."
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"Reason number 106 why dogs are smarter than humans: once you leave the litter, you sever contact with your mothers."
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"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."
Comedy
"Don't take this the wrong way, but Australians have a LOT of bitches on their cashola."
Social
"Mouse likes to drag you to uninhabited areas with no cell signal-all those places perfect for dying of exposure."
Survival
"The words 'drink me' come to mind. Anyone besides me up for some heavy alcohol consumption?"
Humor
"Aw, you're nothing but heart, Mako. Nice valentine in your skull, by the way. Is that temporary or did the Tanaka-kai change their daimon to attract the Powerpuff Girls crowd?"
Humor
"I don't know what this is for anyway. I mean, let me tell you what I'm never going to say to any human being, ever: 'I had hunting season off-suit in the pocket, but I've had kicker trouble with that hand often enough to fold it."
Humor
"Didn't you read the invitation? There's going to be a game in a little while--the big Twister game in an hour. Make sure you eat plenty of bread."
Humor
"Are you saying that you need an attorney? For what? As far as I know, being a dick isn't against the law in any country."
Law
"I'm almost afraid to tell you. Let's put it this way: clean toilets are the least of your problems in this country."
Observation
"Seriously, what is the purpose? Maybe I'd feel better about walking around speaking fluent jive if I knew there was a reason for it."
Purpose
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