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"I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people."
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"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."
"He makes people pleased with him by making them first pleased with themselves."
"People are always good company when they are doing what they really enjoy."
"Prune - prune businesses, products, activities, people. Do it annually."
"Some people bear three kinds of trouble - the ones they've had, the ones they have, and the ones they expect to have."
Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
"What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife."
"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."
"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."
"My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it."
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