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"The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them."
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"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
"People generally quarrel because they cannot argue."
"How long most people would look at the best book before they would give the price of a large turbot for it?"
"I find that most people know what a story is until they sit down to write one."
"You've got to clock the hours and pay your dues. Then eventually, people will come to you. You have to be patient and appreciative."
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Explore more quotes by Lenny Bruce
"The "what should be" never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no "what should be," there is only what is."
"The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't."
"A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know."
"If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses."
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