"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."

Fun, Machine, Want, Will

48

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."

Exlpore more Fun quotes

"Fun is a good thing but only when it spoils nothing better."

George Santayana, American Philosopher

Fun, Nothing

"Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it's a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed."

Neil Gaiman, British Author

Fun, Funny, Awards, Battle

"It's fun leading this offense. I don't think we've hit our peak."

Brett Favre, American Athlete

Fun, Leading

"It's more fun to arrive a conclusion than to justify it."

Malcolm Forbes, American Publisher

Fun,

"I think I am a star - I'm simply a funny-shaped star."

Malcolm Wilson, American Politician

Fun, Funny

"This was more of a cartoonish thing for me and it kind of took me back to SCTV, in a way, where the characters are just a little broader and you can have that kind of fun going a little over the edge."

Eugene Levy, Canadian Actor

Fun,

"Until now, until I actually got into law class, I just never thought of it as being an interest for me, but it's really funny because now that I'm in law, I'm like 'Wow, I could be a lawyer."

Lisa Leslie, American Athlete

Fun, Funny, Thought, Being, Class

"It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to."

J. D. Salinger, American Novelist

Fun, Funny, Want

"It is an honor to be on the cover of this game because the World Cup is such a big thing around the world. My kids are really quite impressed so that's fun."

Claudio Reyna, American Athlete

Fun, Honor, Kids, World

"It's fun to sing sad songs. And it's fun to listen to sad songs. Enjoyable. Satisfying. Something."

Richard Thompson, British Musician

Fun, Songs

Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'"

Friendship

"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down."

Cause

"My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set."

Sister

"Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down."

Being

"People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky."

Life

"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."

Plants

"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."

Work

"It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky."

People

"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."

Time

"All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me."

Funny