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"Working is hard and distracts from having fun."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's fun to sing sad songs. And it's fun to listen to sad songs. Enjoyable. Satisfying. Something."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Frozen yogurt is tastier than ice cream; nobody is too old for cartoons; bald men are sexy; chocolate is the best medicine; BIG books are better; cats secretly rule the planet; and everything should be available in the color pink, including monster trucks."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I had more fun making Traffic than either of the Ocean's films."
Author Name
Personal Development
"What's funny about Jesus' Son is that I never even wrote that book, I just wrote it down. I would tell these stories and people would say, You should write these things down."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Tell me that the purpose of life is to have fun, and without a care in the world I'll begin wreaking havoc on everything I pass. Now that's what I call pure, honest fun."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Those are fun, especially if they're going to shoot them in four weeks, because you know they're not going to mess with anything you do, so it can be very imaginative."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set."
Sister
"I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart."
People
"People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky."
Life
"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."
Plants
"I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that."
Girlfriend
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."
Tennis
"All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me."
Funny
"I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before."
Now
"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down."
Cause
"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
Order
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