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Steven Wright

"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."

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"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."

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Amber Hurdle

"The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers."

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Amber Hurdle

"There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else."

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Amber Hurdle

"Torture numbers, and they'll confess to anything."

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Amber Hurdle

"We don't know what we're writing until it just comes out. We don't sit around crunching numbers."

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Amber Hurdle

"Early numbers are always wrong."

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Amber Hurdle

"I didn't go to high school. I think that after you learn to read and write and do your numbers and flush the toilet behind yourself, you don't need no more schoolin'. You need to get out in the water and swim."

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Amber Hurdle

"I am woman, hear me roar, in numbers too big to ignore, and I know too much to go back and pretend."

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Amber Hurdle

"When two elements combine and form more than one compound, the masses of one element that react with a fixed mass of the other are in the ratio of small whole numbers."

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Amber Hurdle

"I was the dork in high school who sang musical numbers up and down the hallways."

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Amber Hurdle

"In numbers warmly pure and sweetly strong."

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Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
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Steven Wright
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
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Steven Wright
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
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Steven Wright
"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."
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Steven Wright
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
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Steven Wright
"When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction."
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Steven Wright
"If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
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Steven Wright
"It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."
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Steven Wright
"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."
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Steven Wright
"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"
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