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"If you see me at a restaurant, blow me a kiss, wave, blow me another kiss, then walk five steps backward."
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"Publication is to thinking as childbirth is to the first kiss."
"KISS Psycho Circus is my current favorite. I'm not ashamed to say that I prefer the mindless fun of blasting hordes of creatures to exploration or adventure games."
"I try to do something the audience might not have seen before. Like if I'm gonna kiss a girl I wanna kiss her like a girl has never been kissed. Like maybe I would kick her legs out from under her and catch her right before she hits the ground and then kiss her."
"I prefer a kiss that is so much more than just a tongue in your mouth."
Explore more quotes by Todd Barry
"I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport."
"There's people that are just in awe of what you do, and then there are people who just think it's garbage. And I think there are people who are just uncomfortable seeing someone have fun with their job."
"I basically did comedy there for about a year, and then moved to New York. If I had it to do over again, I would have booked myself on the road for at least a year."
"I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all."
"I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up."
"People don't understand that that's really what it is. They're looking for a magic phone number or something. And to a certain extent, I understand that, because comedy is treated so much as a stepping stone by a lot of people."
"Only lately, like within the last few years, have I had people actually do an impression of me to me, which weirds me out to think of what they have picked up on, without ever realizing it myself."
"I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right."
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