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"Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep."
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Exlpore more Humor quotes
"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."
"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."
"At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue's opinion, was far more hellish than anything they'd discussed to this point."
"Lovemaking is a big grammatical error, i think it should be, LustMaking."
"If there was an elephant in the supermarket, she'd either not see it at all, or call it Mrs Jones and talk about fishcakes."
"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."
Explore more quotes by Fran Lebowitz
"Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat."
"When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough."
"In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy."
"All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable."
"Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you."
"If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words."
"I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota."
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