"Im's offspring stare at stars and make clocks that calculate useless happenings like the angle of a hawk's claws as it strikes its prey. They demonstrate their contraptions and everyone marvels. My children get drunk, confuse a herd of cows with an enemy regiment, and slaughter the lot, screaming like lunatics until the entire army panics."

Satire, Chaos, Humor, War, Humanity

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"Im's offspring stare at stars and make clocks that calculate useless happenings like the angle of a hawk's claws as it strikes its prey. They demonstrate their contraptions and everyone marvels. My children get drunk, confuse a herd of cows with an enemy regiment, and slaughter the lot, screaming like lunatics until the entire army panics."

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"And his computer's spell-check always forces him to capitalize the word "Internet". Come on; World War Two earned it's capitalization. The Internet just sucks human beings away from reality."

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"Happiness is a good business these days, more you talk crap about happiness the large number of crowd you will gather."

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"Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say 'attaboy'."

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"It is difficult not to write satire."

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"Cervantes smiled Spain's chivalry away; A single laugh demolished the right arm Of his country."

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Explore more quotes by Ilona Andrews

"She handed him a glass of water and two Aleve gelcaps. "They're anti-inflammatories. They will dull the pain a little bit and keep down swelling and redness. Swallow the pills, don't chew."Well, I thought I'd stick them into my nose and impersonate a walrus, but if you insist, I'll swallow them."

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"She had only two modes of operation: complete control or complete insanity."

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"Nothing kills a party like an oversize metal hedgehog."

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"Sex is about physical attraction, yes, but it's also about trust. I don't trust you. You're completely self-absorbed and egoistic. You offer nothing I want."

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"Anger - a better alternative to caffeine."

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"I was so happy to be out of there. "Barabas, if you weren't battingfor the other team, I'd marry you.He grinned. "If I weren't batting for the other team, I would accept yourproposal. You had me at 'No comment.' If all my clients were this smart, mylife would be much easier. Much, much easier."

Happiness

"So far I had the god of evil and the god of terror on my side. My good-guy image was taking a serious beating. Maybe I should recruit some unicorns or kittens with rainbow powers to even us out."

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"There comes a point where you have to stop trying to repair yourself and accept the fact that you're broken."

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Imagination

"I suggest you give up now. According to my research, in a vampire-werewolf love triangle, the vampire always gets the girl."

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