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"As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by "survival of the fittest.""
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"If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right."
Father
"Old is always fifteen years from now."
Now
"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it."
Life
"That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked."
Day
"Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much."
Kids
"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry."
End
"Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger."
Work
"I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't."
Love
"A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station."
Father
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
Success
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"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."
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Personal Development
"A mother's love is more beautiful than any fresh flower."
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Personal Development
"The longest tenured First LOVE and Greatest TEACHER, in-fact life long, is none the other, but Mother."
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Personal Development
"I recently saw the movie about Ray Charles, and there's a scene where he falls down and the mother doesn't help him. She says, I don't want anyone to treat you like a cripple. I've fallen down before, and Molly will say, get up and just go."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'd like to be a wife and mother. I guess I'll know Mr. Right when I meet him."
Author Name
Personal Development
"She is incredibly fit, but we remind staff that she's not just the monarch, but our mother."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm more of a guy's girl. I like having a beer in a bar, and I don't bicker or sit down and do my nails. But I have two sisters and a mother, and we're Latin, so we gossip."
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Personal Development
"I just cleared the slate and thought of her as a mother and went from there."
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Personal Development
"We never got anything out of the recordings. I'm still as broke as I was when I was with the Mothers."
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Personal Development
"My mother was the total influence. My father was what we call a nomadic person; he was a wanderer."
Author Name
Personal Development
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