"As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job."

Home, Work, Husband, Housewife

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"As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job."

Exlpore more Home quotes

"To tell you the truth, I never listen to opera at home."

Lesley Garrett, English Musician

Home, Truth, Opera

"If someone knew equally as much about the ins and outs of your home, it would not be your home."

S. A. Tawks, British Author

Home, Privacy, Identity, Trust

"The heart of the home beats in the kitchen and a healthy one beats three times a day."

Bangambiki Habyarimana, Rwandan Author

Home, Heart, Kitchen, Health

"Don't leave home without your sword - your intellect."

Alan Moore, British Writer

Home, Intellect

"To a homeless man, home is literally where the heart is."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Home, Truth, Emotion, Homelessness

"The appreciative smile, the chuckle, the soundless mirth, so important to the success of comedy, cannot be understood unless one sits among the audience and feels the warmth created by the quality of laughter that the audience takes home with it."

James Thurber, American Comedian

Home, Success, Quality, Comedy

"Home is not where you live, but where they understand you."

Christian Morgenstern, German Poet

Home,

"I always clean before the cleaning lady comes. If not, when I come home, I can't find anything. Cleaning ladies are always hiding things you leave out."

Celia Cruz, Cuban Musician

Home, Ladies, Lady

"They were home. He always felt a bit like a snail, but instead of carrying his home on his back, he carried it in his arms."

Louise Penny, Canadian Author

Home, Family, Belonging, Comfort

"My tent doesn't look like much but, as an estate agent might say, "It is air-conditioned and has exceptional location."

Fennel Hudson, British Author

Home, Comfort, Location, Life

Explore more quotes by Roseanne Barr

"I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job."

Day

"I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job."

Home

"There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect."

Mother

"I was completely nuts for most of my life."

Life

"Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with."

Woman

"I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. I think I must have been Adolf Hitler in a past life."

Life

"My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact."

Agreement

"My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel."

War

"A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego."

Mom

"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it."

Woman