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Chris Rock

"Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to."

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"Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to."

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"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

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"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

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"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."

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"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal."

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"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

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"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."

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"Some people break promises for the pleasure of breaking them."

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"I do give books as gifts sometimes, when people would rather have one than a new Ferrari."

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"If something in your writing gives support to people in their lives, that's more than just entertainment-which is what we writers all struggle to do, to touch people."

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Chris Rock
"Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!"
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"Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them."
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Chris Rock
"Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four."
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"If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty."
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Chris Rock
"Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else."
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Chris Rock
"Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders."
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Chris Rock
"Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?"
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Chris Rock
"A man is only as faithful as his options."
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Chris Rock
"Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing."
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Chris Rock
"A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House."
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