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Ronald Reagan

"We should declare war on North Vietnam. We could pave the whole country and put parking strips on it, and still be home by Christmas."

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"We should declare war on North Vietnam. We could pave the whole country and put parking strips on it, and still be home by Christmas."

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Donna Grant

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

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Donna Grant

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

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Donna Grant

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

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Donna Grant

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

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Donna Grant

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

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Donna Grant

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

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Donna Grant

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."

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Donna Grant

"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."

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Donna Grant

"Laughter is carbonated holiness."

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Donna Grant

"Well, I said, "you obviously have some power. You chased off those hooligans with rotten fruit. Perhaps you have banana-kinesis? Or you can control garbage? I once knew a Roman goddess, Cloacina, who presided over the city's sewer system. Perhaps you're related? Meg pouted. I got the impression I might have said something wrong, though I couldn't imagine what."

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Ronald Reagan
"No mother would ever willingly sacrifice her sons for territorial gain, for economic advantage, for ideology."
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Ronald Reagan
"Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours."
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Ronald Reagan
"You know, if I listened to Michael Dukakis long enough, I would be convinced we're in an economic downturn and people are homeless and going without food and medical attention and that we've got to do something about the unemployed."
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Ronald Reagan
"No government ever voluntarily reduces itself in size. Government programs, once launched, never disappear. Actually, a government bureau is the nearest thing to eternal life we'll ever see on this earth!"
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Ronald Reagan
"If the Soviet Union let another political party come into existence, they would still be a one-party state, because everybody would join the other party."
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Ronald Reagan
"Of the four wars in my lifetime, none came about because the U.S. was too strong."
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Ronald Reagan
"You and I are told we must choose between a left or right, but I suggest there is no such thing as a left or right. There is only an up or down. Up to man's age-old dream -- the maximum of individual freedom consistent with order --or down to the ant heap of totalitarianism. Regardless of their sincerity, their humanitarian motives, those who would sacrifice freedom for security have embarked on this downward path."
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Ronald Reagan
"We should declare war on North Vietnam. We could pave the whole country and put parking strips on it, and still be home by Christmas."
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Ronald Reagan
"To sit back hoping that someday, some way, someone will make things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last - but eat you he will."
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Ronald Reagan
"One picture is worth 1,000 denials."
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