top of page
"Balls to ten minutes."
Standard
Customized
Exlpore more Humor quotes

"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."

"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."

"A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes."
Explore more quotes by Kristen Ashley

"However, at fourteen years old, she didn't understand that all those terrible troubles the heroines in her books went through in real life."

"I looked to the ceiling and told God, 'God, next time I want an adventure, strike me with lightning. You have my permission."

"Bard eyed him like he was manure on her shoes at the same time she did things, like sharpen a wooden stake, something she knew didn't work on him, but that was not her point, even if she was making one."

"Don't go woman on me and tell me you don't need a man to complete you. It's bullshit. Woman looks like you, goddamn waste. But a woman who has the love you got to give, that's not a waste. That's a crying shame."

"Not one fuckin' thing gentlemanly about protecting what's yours. Looks like you're gonna lose it, you do everything you can to stop that from happening. Max looked back to Niles. 'And you didn't do that. She was a week away from me, she walked into a room I was in holdin' another man's hand, I'd lose my fuckin' mind. Not at her. Wonderin' where I lost my way and I'd talk to her about how to find my way back."

"Being on the moon is about harnessing science and technology. Waveless waterbeds are about harnessing nature and that, by definition, is not natural, I shot back.'Babe, you're not lyin' on a miracle, he said through a lip twitch.'No, I'm lying under one."
bottom of page