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Janet Evanovich

"Connie, giving her thoughts on why Vinnie's hot temper is less than normal, says: 'Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning."

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"Connie, giving her thoughts on why Vinnie's hot temper is less than normal, says: 'Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning."

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Amber Hurdle

"You are not walking slow enough, when taking a walk, if you do not come across as bored or depressed (to the average sane person)."

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Amber Hurdle

"Quiet people always know more than they seem. Although very normal, their inner world is by default fronted mysterious and therefore assumed weird. Never underestimate the social awareness and sense of reality in a quiet person; they are some of the most observant, absorbent persons of all."

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Amber Hurdle

"Novelists should never allow themselves to weary of the study of real life. If they observed this duty conscientiously, they would give us fewer pictures chequered with vivid contrasts of light and shade; they would seldom elevate their heroes and heroines to the heights of rapture - still seldomer sink them to the depths of despair; for if we rarely taste the fulness of joy in this life, we yet more rarely savour the acrid bitterness of hopeless anguish."

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Amber Hurdle

"The bowl is warmer than the soup."

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Amber Hurdle

"An idiot child screaming in a hospital. (on George Bernard Shaw)"

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Amber Hurdle

"Generally, there is a lot of truth value in stepping back, observing, then logically generalizing the extremes of what you see."

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Amber Hurdle

"While humans play God, dogs learn from their masters."

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Amber Hurdle

"His was an impenetrable darkness. I looked at him as you peer down at a man who is lying at the bottom of a precipice where the sun never shines."

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Amber Hurdle

"And only after he said it did he realize that among the countless suicides he could remember, this was the first with cyanide that had not been caused by the sufferings of love. Then something changed in the tone of his voice."And when you do find one, observe with care, he said to the intern:"they almost always have crystals in their heart."

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Janet Evanovich
"It's not a nice thing to send a penis to a woman. It's disrespectful."
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"I failed math twice, never fully grasping probability theory. I mean, first off, who cares if you pick a black ball or a white ball out of the bag? And second, if you're bent over about the color, don't leave it to chance. Look in the damn bag and pick the color you want."
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"If I let her in I'm doomed. It's like inviting a vampire into your house. Once you've invite them in, that's it, you're good as dead!"
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"He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous."
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Janet Evanovich
"Calories don't count if they're connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this."
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"Now that we know you're not a hundred percent vampire you should stop trying to suck necks,' I said to Ziggy.'I'll try,' Ziggy said, 'but it's a hard habit to break."
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"I always wanted to eat with a Negro, Grandma said.Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman, Lula said. 'So I guess this works out good."
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"She'll be back,' Ranger said. 'But not tonight.'[Stephanie] 'How'd you get her to leave?''Told her I was gonna spend the next twelve hours ruining you for all other men, and so she might as well go home.'I could feel the heat rush to my face.Ranger gave me the wolf smile. 'I lied about it being tonight,' he said."
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Janet Evanovich
"Maybe it's just not the right time for us to be married. I don't want to be a bounty hunter for the rest of my life, but I certainly don't want to be a housewife right now. And I really don't want to be married to someone who gives me ultimatums.And maybe Joe needs to examine what he wants from a wife. He was raised in a traditional Italian household with a stay-at-home mother and domineering father. If he wants a wife who will fit into that mold, I'm not for him. I might be a stay-at-home mother someday, but I'll always be trying to fly off the garage roof. That's just who I am."
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Janet Evanovich
"Maybe it was me,' Grandma said.'Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?"
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