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"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."
Art
"If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep."
Government
"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth."
Money
"The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself."
Business
"Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week."
War
"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."
Day
"There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail."
Politics
"Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction."
Action
"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
Funny
"People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide."
People
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"We have long passed the Victorian Era when asterisks were followed after a certain interval by a baby."
Author Name
Personal Development
"This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We were marching since we were babies and all we did was make Jane Fonda famous."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I wanted to play the part that Mary Kay played, the lawyer who wanted to have baby and felt her clock ticking, because it was something I could relate to."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You must have been a beautiful baby, 'Cos baby just look at you now."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I kept my babies fed. I could have dumped them, but I didn't. I decided that whatever trip I was on, they were going with me. You're looking at a real daddy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My parents had been involved in the labor movement; if we'd grown up in the city, we would have been red-diaper babies."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Baby, black promoters oppressed me before white promoters ever got hold of me. Don't talk skin to me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film."
Author Name
Personal Development
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