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"I think the more you do this and the more comfortable you become on stage, you start speaking more and becoming more of a character in yourself."
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"The presence of a noble nature, generous in its wishes, ardent in its charity, changes the lights for us: we begin to see things again in their larger, quieter masses, and to believe that we too can be seen and judged in the wholeness of our character."

"Failures make character, not success."

"When a foundation is built following sound structural principles, with solid, high-quality materials, anything that is layered on top is more secure, durable, and resilient. Your integrity works the same way."

"Fruits of the spirit in the man attract others to him."

"Instead of trying to be taller than others, stronger than others, more superior to others, try to be gentler than others, more compassionate than others, fairer than others!"
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"On the weekends, I would go down and play these clubs in Key West or West Palm Beach or surrounding areas of Florida and then I'd go back to school for the week."

"It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends."

"My real name is Scott Thompson. I could have gone by that name, but when I started doing comedy I thought I needed to go by something that has a little more of a hook."

"I think it's the fact that I do something different and that I actually have some success with it. That bothers a lot of people... especially comics."

"I always thought marketing in general was an interesting kind of thing. I always liked commercials and billboards."

"So I try not to look too far into the future because I think that everything happens and will happen for a reason."
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