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Jeff Foxworthy

"The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more."

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"The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more."

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Asa Don Brown

"For the last few years, it's been so chic for everybody to be miserable. Like if you're in with the cool crowd, you can't be happy."

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Asa Don Brown

"Tahiti has been spoiled for many years, but Bali is one of the few cultures with origins in one of the great ancient cultures which is still alive."

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Asa Don Brown

"Best two rock voices I've heard in a last few years both have been from grunge bands: it's Eddie Vedder and the other one is Chris Cornell from Soundgarden."

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Asa Don Brown

"For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string."

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Asa Don Brown

"I prefer to remember the happy things over 10 years, the things that went well. Let me see, what did go well?"

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Asa Don Brown

"I sing in a higher register, and you haven't heard that on the radio in years."

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Asa Don Brown

"So gradually, and then I had an Italian roadster that I built, it took me five years to build it, it was stolen from me and stripped. I said, well maybe we should have another where we shouldn't steal from each other."

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Asa Don Brown

"Just because someone's dead doesn't mean it's over. My grandfather died more than 25 years ago, but I still think of him a lot and smell his smell."

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Asa Don Brown

"I can count on one hand the number of instrumental hits there have been over the last ten years."

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Asa Don Brown

"30 years and 55 pictures - not more than five that were any good, or any good for me."

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Jeff Foxworthy
"Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?"
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Jeff Foxworthy
"The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work."
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