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"I went through the usual stages: imp, rascal, scalawag, whippersnapper. And, of course, after that it's just a small step to full-blown sociopath."
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"To say 'I want to have sex with this person' is to express a desire which is not intellectually directed in the way that 'I want to eradicate poverty in the world' is an intellectually directed desire. Furthernore, the gratification of sexual desire can only ever give temporary satisfaction. Thus as Nagarjuna, the great Indian scholar said: 'When you have an itch, you scratch. But not to itch at all is better than any amount of scratching."
"Cultivate confidence, and eradicate the need to control."
"I have a copy of you in my brain, when you make me angry I do very bad things to you."
"When animals behave like humans or when humans behave like animals, don't be surprised because in every animal there is a human and in every human there is an animal!"
"Both friend and enemy reside within us. One lives by the rule of compassion, the other by the rule of hard knocks. Though potential influence of either extreme is inevitable, our actions bear witness to the one we embrace."
"Help does not come from anywhere outside - it comes only from within ourselves."
"To open door to hatred is to open one's spirit to misery."
"Express your regrets to the right people and you will be encouraged positively."
"Psychologists suggest that we must reach back at least three generations to look for clues whenever we begin untangling the emotional legacy of any one family's history."
"Negative thoughts about ourselves steals our energy."
Explore more quotes by George Carlin
"Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."
"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."
"I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in."
"Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid. Then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal. It's a matter of how you pick them."
"No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to."
"Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple."
"I went through the usual stages: imp, rascal, scalawag, whippersnapper. And, of course, after that it's just a small step to full-blown sociopath."
"I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?"
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