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"I practice safe sex - I use an airbag."
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"If you insist upon fighting to protect me, or 'our' country, let it be understood soberly and rationally between us that you are fighting to gratify a sex instinct which I cannot share; to procure benefits where I have not shared and probably will not share."
"What most people in our culture mean by being lovable is essentially a mixture between being popular and having sex appeal."
"Okay we both know... what happens... with sex... different places... different time... different date... different rooms... the biatch is still bitchy.... very bitchy as pitchy.... The agony - DOOOOOO YOU FEEL IT?- wE JUST PREDICTED THE FUTURE!"
"Pornography is the attempt to insult sex, to do dirt on it."
"The most unfair thing about sex is that men are almost always guaranteed an orgasm."
Explore more quotes by Garry Shandling
"You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't."
"I don't know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has something to do with - if I may judge from my own father, who used to sit and stare at the TV while my mother was speaking to him - I think that's a man's way of tuning out."
"I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead."
"I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there."
"The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show."
"I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large."
"I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate."
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