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"It seems like there's a lot of people who just do not understand satire. They think it's weird. There's people who just don't understand you portray something or just explore a character, it means you're condoning it, saying this is the way to live."
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"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

"He makes people pleased with him by making them first pleased with themselves."

"People are always good company when they are doing what they really enjoy."

"Prune - prune businesses, products, activities, people. Do it annually."

"Some people bear three kinds of trouble - the ones they've had, the ones they have, and the ones they expect to have."
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"When I was a kid it was like, who could be the coolest? Who could do the stupidest thing? And you knew it was a stupid thing to do, but you would do it just so you could be the coolest guy. And then you end up doing really cruel crap."
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"I don't return anybody's calls unless it's going to mean extra money for me. And I've completely cut off all relationships with any friends that I had before the show. And I've copped an attitude."

"I've seen a lot of pairs of guys that have been hanging out together way too long-until they're laughing all the time."
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