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"I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for."
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"The other thing is that doctors test only the most common estrogen level. There are three kinds of estrogen in a woman but they don't test the other two because they are so rare; mine was the third kind of estrogen."

"My doctor tells me I should start slowing it down - but there are more old drunks than there are old doctors so let's all have another round."

"I have been on diets that were supervised by doctors, that were carefully supervised where I lost weight."

"I'm a terrible patient, and I find that doctors can be very condescending."

"This is a year and a few months after the transplant. Before I had it my doctors told me that it would be the biggest thing that I ever had to face and believe me, when they take your liver out of ya and put another one in it's like replacing a football in your stomach."

"It is a different genre - a show about something other than doctors, lawyers and cops. Teachers are something completely different. I think it makes for very interesting television."
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