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"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'"
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"Single women have a dreadful propensity for being poor. Which is one very strong argument in favor of matrimony."
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Personal Development
"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."
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Personal Development
"The faces of most American women over thirty are relief maps of petulant and bewildered unhappiness."
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Personal Development
"Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked."
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Personal Development
"You can find women who have never had an affair, but it is hard to find a woman who has had just one."
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Personal Development
"The Cause of Women is generally the Cause of Virtue."
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Personal Development
"In our society, the women who break down barriers are those who ignore limits."
Author Name
Personal Development
"What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce."
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Personal Development
"Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths."
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Personal Development
"I was never very interested in boys - and there were plenty of them - vying with one another to see how many famous women they would get into the hay."
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Personal Development
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"In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union."
People
"In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath."
Man
"John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career."
Control
"Fish recognize a bad leader."
Leader
"Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion."
Exhaustion
"Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me."
School
"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'"
Woman
"If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice."
Life
"Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen."
Dating
"Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that he's started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob."
War
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