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"To make dollars from cents you have to have sense."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A drunkard would not give money to sober people. He said they would only eat it, and buy clothes and send their children to school with it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The price we have to pay for money is sometimes liberty."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Nothing induces me to read a novel except when I have to make money by writing about it. I detest them."
Author Name
Personal Development
"To understand someone, find out how he spends his money."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Egoism and Money [Goddess of wealth; Lakshmi] are very much at odds [have great enmity]. There should be just enough egoism to accomplish one's work. Beyond that, any expanded egoism and money have great enmity. Money (Lakshmi) stays away from it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Money cannot buy you love. But it sure can buy you things that some people will love you for having."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"If I'm really considering doing film from now on then that is the smart thing to do, or you can go either way. You can just do the same character over and over again and make a different comedy like over and over again."
Character
"People are going to see both of us and think it's an Abbott and Costello kind of thing. It's not an easy switch. It's not an easy transition from TV to film."
People
"I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you."
Dream
"The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life."
Life
"If my father had hugged me even once, I'd be an accountant right now."
Father
"I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience."
Insecurity
"My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning."
Money
"You don't want to shock them and do something totally opposite, but you also want to play a different character."
Character
"I love standup and I haven't given it up."
Love
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