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"I swear by the self-assurance with which elderly men sitting in public tilt sideways to allow the gas to escape loudly."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development
"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Laughter is carbonated holiness."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, I said, "you obviously have some power. You chased off those hooligans with rotten fruit. Perhaps you have banana-kinesis? Or you can control garbage? I once knew a Roman goddess, Cloacina, who presided over the city's sewer system. Perhaps you're related? Meg pouted. I got the impression I might have said something wrong, though I couldn't imagine what."
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Personal Development
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"It was definitely a rare situation where a career had started and ended simultaneously on a very high note."
Achievement
"There is no point in housing troubles inside your underwear if you can't solve them by yourself."
Wisdom
"Everyone's mind has sort of a slum division-a flirtatious spot that doesn't give a hoot about how grave a situation is but constantly endeavors to derail more earnest thoughts, almost like a death-wish backseat driver."
Psychology
"I swear by the self-assurance with which elderly men sitting in public tilt sideways to allow the gas to escape loudly."
Humor
"Matters of the heart are so incalculable!"
Affection
"Availability of knowledge is only next to prevalence of stupidity in its overwhelming abundance."
Wisdom
"The underprivileged are byproduct of society's material progress."
Social
"Many a times a huge problem gets solved with a trivial move."
Simplicity
"Ideas either age like fine wine or rot like potatoes over time."
Creativity
"The loss of a reliance on others often helpfully forces a more sophisticated rumination that enables the opening of previously unknown avenues."
Independence
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