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Christopher Moore

"The Beta Male is seldom the strongest or the fastest, but because he can anticipate danger, he far outnumbers his Alpha Male competition. The world is led by Alpha Males, but the machinery of the world turns on the bearings of the Beta Male."

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"The Beta Male is seldom the strongest or the fastest, but because he can anticipate danger, he far outnumbers his Alpha Male competition. The world is led by Alpha Males, but the machinery of the world turns on the bearings of the Beta Male."

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"Am I the best!?- If I know each move which is going to be done from you... which means 1-2 steps above you!?"

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"Every new situation requires new strategy."

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"You see a wile, you thwart. Am I right?"

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"It is possible to build a system that could assure you of increase on constant basis."

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"The best way to catch a bee is using its own honey."

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Christopher Moore
"Rivera rubbed his temples. 'Satan told you to do it?' he said wearily.'No.''Elvis?''I told you, it's supernatural."
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"I'm feeling full of tiny princes, bustling to get out into the world and start plotting against one another."
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"Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him...."
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"Blessed with the Beta Male imagination, he spent much of his life squinting into the future so he might spot ways in which the world was conspiring to kill him..."
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"Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism."
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Christopher Moore
"Does the work get easier once you know what you are doing?''Your lungs grow thick with stone dust and your eyes bleary from the sun and fragments thrown up by the chisel. You pour your lifeblood out into works of stone for Romans who will take your money in taxes to feed soldiers who will nail your people to crosses for wanting to be free. Your back breaks, your bones creak, your wife screeches at you, and your children torment you with open begging mouths, like greedy baby birds in the nest. You go to bed every night so tired and beaten that you pray to the Lord to send the angel of death to take you in your sleep so you don't have to face another morning. It also has its downside."
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Christopher Moore
"My fans have great senses of humor and eat too much chocolate."
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Christopher Moore
"There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon."
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Christopher Moore
"As much as I encourage communication with my readers, I don't want reviews from them, simply because I don't need to be hamstrung in the middle of working on something."
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Christopher Moore
"On the radio, turned low, Reba sang of hard times with the full authority of a cross-eyed redheaded millionaire."
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