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"Artemis: 'Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre.'Myles: 'In Paris.'Artemis: 'Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?'Beckett: 'Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?'Myles: 'I agree with simple-toon.'Artemis: 'No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'Beckett: 'Itchy what?"

Eoin Colfer, Irish Author

Wit, Humor, Brotherhood, Dialogue

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"Artemis: 'Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre.'Myles: 'In Paris.'Artemis: 'Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?'Beckett: 'Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?'Myles: 'I agree with simple-toon.'Artemis: 'No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'Beckett: 'Itchy what?"

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"Naturally, we lunatics are the kindest of the bunch."

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"Well, young man, have you found anyone worthy of your respect?'Artemis smiled back. 'Yes,' he said. 'I believe I have."

"It was no time for mercy, it was time to terminate with extreme prejudice."

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"I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal."

"Look!' said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, 'Someone who cares!"

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