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"Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers."
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"Every irrational and unscientific belief will ruin your life! Your own wrong belief will be your own tragic punishment!"
"Murderer ain't fit to eternity."
"The principle inherent in the clause that prohibits pointless infliction of excessive punishment when less severe punishment can adequately achieve the same purposes invalidates the punishment."
"I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again."
"If you're going to do something wrong, do it big, because the punishment is the same either way."
"But I knew if I ran I'd never be able to sing, so I had to take my punishment."
"Just vengeance does not call for punishment."
"I contend that it's impossible to read the Sermon on the Mount and not come out against capital punishment."
"Routine physical punishment such as spanking teaches a toddler that might makes right and that it is fine to hit when one is stronger and can get away with it."
"Isn't watching sacred potential kill itself as good a punishment as eternal fire?"
Explore more quotes by P. J. O'Rourke
"In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America."
"Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them."
"To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You'd better go look for work as a plant or wild animal."
"Even I realized that money was to politicians what the eucalyptus tree is to koala bears: food, water, shelter, and something to crap on."
"If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult."
"Cars let us out of the barn and, while they were at it, destroyed the American nuclear family. As anyone who has had an American nuclear family can tell you, this was a relief to all concerned."
"Most people sort of enjoy going to work because of the socialisation, a chance to flirt with co-workers and so on, but actually hate the job they do."
"Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human."
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