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"And I like your laugh, Sabbath; it's inaudible."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
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"Night comes to the desert all at once, as if someone turned off the light."
Nature
"Our house is made of glass... and our lives are made of glass; and there is nothing we can do to protect ourselves."
Nothing
"Where we come from in America no longer signifies. It's where we go, and what we do when we get there, that tells us who we are."
Change
"Still, I am angry with him. I am very angry with him. With my poor dead defenseless husband, I am furious as I was rarely-perhaps never-furious with him, in life. How can I forgive you, you've ruined both our lives."
Emotion
"Obviously the imagination is fueled by emotions beyond the control of the conscious mind."
Creativity
"I feel very transparent in myself. I'm more of an observer. I'm interested in what's going on. I'm not sure that I really have a personality. Some people think I do have a personality. I have a personality when I am with certain people - but when I'm not with them I don't have that personality. I just sort of go back to resembling a transparent glass of water."
Self
"A wet autumn morning, a garbage truck clattering down the street. The first snowfall of the season, blossom sized flakes falling languidly and melting on teh ground, a premature snow fall delicate as lace, rapidly melting."
Nature
"It is utterly naive, futile, uninformed-to think that our species is exceptional. So designated to master the beasts of the Earth, as in the Book of Genesis!"
Philosophy
"The coolly calibrated manipulation of the credulous American public, by an administration bent upon stoking paranoid patriotism!"
Society
"The best part of being a nanny, Katya thought, was reading children's books aloud to enraptured children like Tricia, for no one had read such books aloud to her when she'd been a little girl. There hadn't been such books in the Spivak household on County Line Road, nor would there have been any time for such interludes."
Education
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