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"My films are about embarrassment."
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"Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren't completely embarassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow's embarrassment?"

"Excessive literary production is a social offense."

"Are you referring to the day you instructed me to 'follow the white rabbit,' plied me with absinthe and brownies, and tried to have your way with me? Didn't take long for you to lose your romantic streak, did it?"

"If my mom told one more story about how cute I looked in the bathtub when I was three years old I was going to burrow into the snow and freeze myself to death."

"You can imagine my embarrassment when I killed the wrong guy."

"Not everyone knows what it is to have your father's rival's penis inches from your nose."

"Juliette ? A tentative voice . " Are you okay? I lower the pillow . Blink up . Warner is wearing a towel . A towel . I want to roll under the bed ."

"It's an embarrassment of riches because you have directors who don't better. You end up with so much stuff going on the screen that you don't know where to look, and that's what I consider self-indulgent."
Explore more quotes by Alan Bennett

"Children always assume the sexual lives of their parents come to a grinding halt at their conception."

"I've never seen the point of the sea, except where it meets the land. The shore has a point. The sea has none."

"Those who have known the famous are publicly debriefed of their memories, knowing as their own dusk falls that they will only be remembered for remembering someone else."

"We were put to Dickens as children but it never quite took. That unremitting humanity soon had me cheesed off."

"We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules."
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