"It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky."

People,

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"It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky."

Exlpore more People quotes

"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."

Bill Maher, American Comedian

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"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."

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"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it."

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"I hope that people will finally come to realize that there is only one 'race' - the human race - and that we are all members of it."

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"I'm not sure whay I've been drawn to this subject, except that murder is a subject that has always drawn people for as long as people have been telling stories."

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"If you ask a hundred people, they all give you different answers."

Lenny Kravitz, American Musician

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"You can be around 100 people and be completely alone. People don't realize what it's really like."

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"In our leisure we reveal what kind of people we are."

Ovid, Roman Poet

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"With most people disbelief in a thing is founded on a blind belief in some other thing."

Georg C. Lichtenberg, German Physicist

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"One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide."

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Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

"I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific."

Night

"You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something."

Fish

"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later."

Dream

"I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones."

Word

"Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"

Wrong

"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."

Time

"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."

Plants

"I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too."

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"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."

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"I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once."

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