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"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."
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"We can't thank Dave enough. He could call me if my wife was about to have a baby and tell me he needed tonight for his show and I'd find some way to get her to let me head to New York."

"I think it all comes down to relationships - how I treat my wife, how I treat my kids, how I treat the guys at the grocery store, all aspects of every day, what I'm involved in."

"I had been in a film, playing a young British aristocrat. My wife told me that she was invited to a dinner and she invited me to dinner and the hostess had seen me and said, 'You cannot bring him.' but I think that I've done enough to shatter the image."

"And I had to take care of a little dog too named Suzy. It was the promoter's wife's - Judy Lynn's - it was her dog. And one of my duties going on the tour was to take care of it."

"Since I left basketball, and my wife, it's been a glorious feast of lovemaking."
Explore more quotes by Will Rogers

"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."

"If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them."

"America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there."
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