"I set the coffee aside and got a cup of water instead. I could never see why people drank that stuff. It tasted like soil boiled in mud, wit a topping of dirt."

Humor, Preference, Coffee, Taste

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"I set the coffee aside and got a cup of water instead. I could never see why people drank that stuff. It tasted like soil boiled in mud, wit a topping of dirt."

Explore more quotes by Brandon Sanderson

"Authors write books for one, and only one, reason: because we like to torture people."

Writing, Books, Authors, Humor

"Control is the basis of all true power. Authority and strength are matters of perception."

Power, Control, Authority, Perception

"I don't want to make people mad. I just... well, how can people get better if you don't tell them what you honestly think?"

Honesty, Improvement, Communication, Truth

"Dragons were dangerous in the sky. Of course, they were dangerous on the ground too. Just less dangerous. In the same way that a sword is less dangerous so long as it's pointed at someone else."

Fantasy, Danger, Sky, Comparison, Threat

"Expectation wasn't just about what people expected of you. It was about what you expected of yourself."

Expectation, Self, Motivational, Ambition

"Holding your brain hostage against your own stupidity - that was how to get stuff done."

Discipline, Action, Motivational, Focus

"There were a group of people before the Ascension known as the Astalsi. They claimed that each person was born with a certain finite amount of ill luck. And so, when an unfortunate event happened, they thought themselves blessed-thereafter, their lives could only get better."

Belief, Luck, Fate, Optimism, Life

"Everything is a contest. All dealings among men are a contest in which some will succeed and others fail. And some are failing quite spectacularly."

Competition, Success, Failure, Life

"Joel, lad, school is about learning to learn. If you don't practice studying things you don't like, then you'll have a very hard time in life."

Education, Learning, Practice, Life

"I let out a sound that was definitely not a whimper. It was something far more manly, no matter what it sounded like."

Expression, Sound, Emotion, Identity

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Comedy, Stupidity, Life, Love

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Confusion, Logic, Irony

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

Humor, Self, Life, Joy

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Dance, Sex, Judgment

"I'm trying to remember how you tell the time by looking at the sun." -"I should leave it for a while, it's too bright to see the numbers at the moment."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Happiness, Today, Wisdom

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Women, Needs, Attention

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology

"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."

Deyth Banger, American Blogger

Humor, Truth, Power, Wisdom

"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."

George R. R. Martin, American Author

Humor, Conflict, Judgment, Truth