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"He who sells what isn't his'n, Must buy it back or go to prison."
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"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
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Personal Development
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
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Personal Development
"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."
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Personal Development
"They are fond of fun and therefore witty, wit being well-bred insolence."
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Personal Development
"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."
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Personal Development
"We can't all be comedians, some people have to do the laughing."
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Personal Development
"His voice is to entertainment what the kazoo is to classical music."
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Personal Development
"He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James."No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying glass, and it was all semicolons and parentheses," said Mrs. Cadwallader."
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Personal Development
"To put an arrogant 'famous' singer in her place: pretend to be deaf."
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Personal Development
"Was this some new level of depravity? Had he developed a spinster fetish?"
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"We want a marriage with our customers, not a relationship."
Marriage
"He who sells what isn't his'n, Must buy it back or go to prison."
Humor
"Anybody who plays the stock market not as an insider is like a man buying cows in the moonlight."
Humor
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