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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"What is a epigram? A dwarfish whole. Its body brevity, and wit its soul."
Soul
"Language is the armory of the human mind, and at once contains the trophies of its past and the weapons of its future conquests."
Future
"People of humor are always in some degree people of genius."
Humor
"Brute animals have the vowel sounds; man only can utter consonants."
Animals
"I wish our clever young poets would remember my homely definitions of prose and poetry; that is, prose = words in their best order; - poetry = the best words in the best order."
Poetry
"A mother is a mother still, The holiest thing alive."
Family
"Friendship is a sheltering tree."
Friendship
"Our own heart, and not other men's opinions form our true honor."
Man
"Intense study of the Bible will keep any writer from being vulgar, in point of style."
Bible
"A man's desire is for the woman, but the woman's desire is rarely other than for the desire of the man."
Desire
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