"Women who seek advice from single women about getting a man is like asking a homeless man how to be rich."

Humor, Truth, Observation, Power

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"Women who seek advice from single women about getting a man is like asking a homeless man how to be rich."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

John Green, American Author

Humor, Social, Truth, Life

"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."

Munia Khan, Bangladeshi Poet

Humor, Satire, Criticism, Truth

"He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James."No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying glass, and it was all semicolons and parentheses," said Mrs. Cadwallader."

George Eliot, British Author

Humor, Wit, Blood, Language

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Philosophy, Truth, Hurt, Irony

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Culture, Observation, Learning

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Wealth, Excess, Irony, Consumption

"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."

Kiersten White, American Author

Humor, Fiction, Creativity, Observation

"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."

Craig Ferguson, Scottish Comedian

Humor, Women, Life, Creativity

"A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes."

Pawan Mishra, Indian Author

Humor, Truth, Observation, Happiness

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."

Albert Einstein, German Scientist

Humor, Contempt, Music, Order

Explore more quotes by Habeeb Akande

"A respectful woman is a righteous woman."

Womanhood

"You become a man not when you reach a certain age, but when you reach a certain state of mind."

Maturity

"You will never become who you want to be if you keep blaming everyone else for who you are."

Responsibility

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."

"He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James."No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying glass, and it was all semicolons and parentheses," said Mrs. Cadwallader."

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."

"A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes."

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."

Explore more quotes by Habeeb Akande

"A respectful woman is a righteous woman."

"You become a man not when you reach a certain age, but when you reach a certain state of mind."

"All work and no play will make you sad and grey!"

"Her black is beautiful, his society is ugly."

"There is enough dough in the world to make bread for us all to eat together."

"Stop complaining and start living."

"Whoever is trying to bring you down is already beneath you."

"The weak makes excuses, the strong makes changes."

"Every woman is different in her own special way."

"You will never become who you want to be if you keep blaming everyone else for who you are."