"Women who seek advice from single women about getting a man is like asking a homeless man how to be rich."

Humor, Truth, Observation, Power

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"Women who seek advice from single women about getting a man is like asking a homeless man how to be rich."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Life, Regret

"I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'"

Doug Coupland, Canadian Author

Humor, Clocks, Future, Right

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician

Humor, Mental, Friend, Imagination

"Did you talk to him about it?""Oh, sure. Nothing happened, yadda yadda. The usual. But my maydar went off like crazy.""Maydar?""As in, he may be thinking about super hot sex with her. Like radar, only not as sure."

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Jealousy, Doubt, Friendship

"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Blood, Survival, Friendship

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Sin, Idea, Truth

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

Humor, Cleverness

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

Jonathan Swift, Irish Writer

Humor, First, Fool, Kissing, Wonder

"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane."

Robert Frost, American Poet

Humor, Laughter, Sanity, Life

Explore more quotes by Habeeb Akande

"You will never become who you want to be if you keep blaming everyone else for who you are."

Responsibility

"Arrogance is thinking you are above someone else, Confidence is knowing no one is above you."

Confidence

"Living in the past kills your future."

Progress

"A religious person without no job is a dead person. (Iigbagbo ti koni ise oku ni. - Yoruba proverb)"

Religion

"If she does not respect you, she will replace you."

Relationship

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

"I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'"

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

"Did you talk to him about it?""Oh, sure. Nothing happened, yadda yadda. The usual. But my maydar went off like crazy.""Maydar?""As in, he may be thinking about super hot sex with her. Like radar, only not as sure."

"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane."

Explore more quotes by Habeeb Akande

"Little boys run in gangs, grown men organise teams."

"If a man wants his dreams to come true he must wake up."

"Keep your standards even when everyone around you is losing theirs."

"All of yesterday's ballers are today's road sweepers."

"Respect can only be given to those who have earned it by working for it."

"You will never become who you want to be if you keep blaming everyone else for who you are."

"Arrogance is thinking you are above someone else, Confidence is knowing no one is above you."

"Living in the past kills your future."

"A religious person without no job is a dead person. (Iigbagbo ti koni ise oku ni. - Yoruba proverb)"

"If she does not respect you, she will replace you."