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"I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid."
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"Caring for our children and making sure they do not get addicted to drugs is all of our responsibility."

"Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own."

"Picasso once remarked I do not care who it is that has or does influence me as long as it is not myself."
Explore more quotes by Drew Carey

"People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are."

"Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with."

"Hollywood people are filled with guilt: white guilt, liberal guilt, money guilt. They feel bad that they're so rich, they feel they don't work that much for all that money - and they don't, for the amount of money they make."

"As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything."

"When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show."
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