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"I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally."
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Exlpore more Law quotes
"The lawyer's world is entire unto itself, the human pared away."
"The corn law was intended to keep wheat at the price of 80s. the quarter; it is now under 40s. the quarter."
"The law-abiding citizen by his labor serves both himself and his fellow man and thereby integrates himself peacefully into the social order. The robber, on the other hand, is intent, not on honest toil, but on the forcible appropriation of the fruits of others' labor."
"HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There arefour kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, andpraiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slainwhether he fell by one kind or another -- the classification is foradvantage of the lawyers."
"The world is so lawful that not even a single mosquito can touch you, as long as you do not interfere. If your interference stops, everything will stop."
"There's a War Crimes Act in the United States passed by a Republican Congress in 1996, which says that grave breaches of the Geneva Convention are subject to the death penalty. And that doesn't mean the soldier that committed them - that means the commanders."
"The jurist is totally unacquainted with the problem of the value of money; he knows nothing of fluctuations in its exchange-value. The naive popular belief in the stability of the value of money has been admitted, with all its obscurity, into the law, and no great historical cause of large and sudden variations in the value of money has ever provided."
Explore more quotes by Bill Maher
"But what is it that drives haters crazy with rage? Many times, it's being ignored. To a person with pride, being ignored is often worse than out-and-out hate; it's that much more of an insult, that you're not even worth noticing."
"For months in the fall of 2001, our highways looked like a county fair on wheels. 'Look out, Al-Qaeda---patriot on board!' I once saw a guy with five flags tell a guy with four flags to go back to Afghanistan."
"If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and sheer ignorance as religion is, you'd resign in protest."
"New Rule: The Napa Valley is Disneyland for alcoholics. Be honest, you're not visiting wineries in four days because you're an oenophile, you're doing it because you're a drunk. It's the only place in America where you can pass out in a stranger's house and it's okay, because it's a B&B and you paid for it."
"Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do."
"Women are also property in our bible; adultery is a property crime in the Old Testament, not a sex crime."
"We preach about capitalism and the beauty of unfettered market forces determining price--but not when it comes to gas. When it comes to gas, we need it cheap, and the president had better get it for us, or else, we don't care how."
"If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod."
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