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Emo Philips

"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."

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"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."

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Emo Philips
"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."
Gay,
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Emo Philips
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
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Emo Philips
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
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Emo Philips
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
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Emo Philips
"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."
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Emo Philips
"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."
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Emo Philips
"Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps."
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Emo Philips
"He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites."
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Emo Philips
"I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy."
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Emo Philips
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."

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Aberjhani

"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

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Aberjhani

"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

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Aberjhani

"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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Aberjhani

"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."

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Aberjhani

"Whatever good things people say of us, they tell us nothing new."

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Aberjhani

"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal."

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Aberjhani

"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

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Aberjhani

"Stephen King in many respects is a wonderful writer. He has made a contribution. People in the future will be able to pick up Stephen King's books and learn a lot about who we were by reading those books."

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Aberjhani

"People are lucky and unlucky not according to what they get absolutely, but according to the ratio between what they get and what they have been led to expect."

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Aberjhani

"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."

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