"I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'"

Mother, Hell, Property

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"I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'"

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"The longest tenured First LOVE and Greatest TEACHER, in-fact life long, is none the other, but Mother."

Vikrmn, Indian Author

Mother, Love, Life, Lesson

"People who lost their mother should be careful about committing crime, because probably no one else is praying to save you."

Amit Kalantri, Indian Author

Mother, Loss, Prayer, Crime

"Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequence than to have a really affectionate mother."

W. Somerset Maugham, British Playwright

Mother,

"Sarah will talk to me about someone and I don't know who she's talking about, but if she talks to my mother, the two of them will know exactly - and across several generations, too."

Prince Andrew, British Royalty

Mother, Generations, Talk, Talking

"Now I have children of my own. They ask their mother what will I be. Will I be handsome, will I be rich?"

Jay Livingston, American Composer

Mother, Children, Now, Will

"The babe at first feeds upon the mother's bosom, but it is always on her heart."

Henry Ward Beecher, American Clergyman

Mother, Heart, First

"A mother's love is more beautiful than any fresh flower."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Mother, Love, Beauty

"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Mother, Blessing, Love

"That was his mother. When she wasn't crying over the breakfast cereal, she was laughing about killing herself."

Nick Hornby, English Writer

Mother, Chaos, Family, Emotion, Contradiction

"My mother's a secretary; my father's an electrician in a mining company."

Eva Herzigova, Czechoslovakian Model

Mother, Father, Company

Explore more quotes by Joan Rivers

"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds."

Life

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."

God

"It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom."

Sex

"Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress."

Dress

"I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor."

God

"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

Baby

"Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer."

Love

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Exlpore more Mother quotes

"The longest tenured First LOVE and Greatest TEACHER, in-fact life long, is none the other, but Mother."

"People who lost their mother should be careful about committing crime, because probably no one else is praying to save you."

"Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequence than to have a really affectionate mother."

"Sarah will talk to me about someone and I don't know who she's talking about, but if she talks to my mother, the two of them will know exactly - and across several generations, too."

"Now I have children of my own. They ask their mother what will I be. Will I be handsome, will I be rich?"

"The babe at first feeds upon the mother's bosom, but it is always on her heart."

"A mother's love is more beautiful than any fresh flower."

"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."

"That was his mother. When she wasn't crying over the breakfast cereal, she was laughing about killing herself."

"My mother's a secretary; my father's an electrician in a mining company."

Explore more quotes by Joan Rivers

"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds."

"Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds."

"Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be."

"The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found."

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."

"It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom."

"Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress."

"I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor."

"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

"Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer."