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"Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one."
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"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
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Personal Development
"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
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Personal Development
"I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny."
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Personal Development
"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
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Personal Development
"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."
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Personal Development
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'"
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Personal Development
"No, it's funny, when I eat out it's not typically in the kind of restaurants people might imagine."
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Personal Development
"It's funny, as you live through something you're not aware of it."
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Personal Development
"A lot of my friends are club people. It's not me. It's funny to represent that, because it's not me. I don't fit into a gay club setting. It's just ironic that I represent that somehow."
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Personal Development
"If I'm in something funny, I like to try and find some kind of serious line in it that people can relate to."
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"Listening is more important than talking. Just hit your mark and believe what you say. Just listen to people and react to what they are saying."
People
"In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing."
Moon
"I didn't act like I was there. I just got into the story."
Act
"I'm going to North Pole to help out Santa this year."
Help
"We picked the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something that loses for 86 years, you're a pretty good fan. You don't have to win everything to be a fan of something."
Pretty
"I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic."
Attention
"When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be."
People
"There couldn't have been a better Hollywood ending for us. It's beyond baseball. It's rooting for your family."
Family
"If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice."
Sports
"Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one."
Funny
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