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"The one, who doesn't break your heart, will break your balls."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development
"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."
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Personal Development
"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."
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Personal Development
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"I hate the nature of humans, how much you get closer that much they run away."
Behavior
"Dogs are owned for their loyalty, but men are owned only because of their stupidity."
Behavior
"The imperfections of religions can only be understood by their unfollowers, not followers."
Awareness
"I would like to be with you, but I do love my loneliness too."
Emotion
"The life can be easy, beautiful, enjoyable and sensational, but it is never amazing without you."
Life
"There is always a right answer for every question, even for the wrong ones."
Wisdom
"I prefer having sex with myself rather than with someone who wants something instead."
Relationship
"I should have imagined how ugly life could be without you, how painful without your love and how lonely without your smiles."
Love
"No one cares how long you kept yourself virgin and how loyal you are, everyone is looking for a hole to play with."
Society
"Live and love yourself forever, because we are all stuck with what we are."
Self
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