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"Well, Faye, dear, I'm sure Harlow's sorry she didn't think to ask if you'd been eaten by a shark. That's totally on her."
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Exlpore more Sarcasm quotes

"It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs."

"If you are going to do that, would you mind not jostling the bed so much?' came a sarcastic voice near the head board. 'Perhaps you could roll around on the floor."

"You again, she said, and she did not sound happy."I know, the warrior replied with a heartfelt sigh. "You're so lucky to see me twice in one day. You're honored by my presence, yada, yada, heard it all before. Let's just move on, shall we. I don't handle fawning very well."

"Great! He has indigestion, so let's torture him with cake."

"Are you suggesting I'm working with thezombies? That I paid them to pretend toattack me so that I'd trick you into letting me join you?"Did you? Mr. Holland demanded."Yeah, okay, I said in a sugar-sweet tone. "You're right. I was having dinner with Zombie Carl the other night. You know, steaks, rare, and a bottle of vintage type A. He told me all his secrets, but too bad for you I promised him I wouldn't tell. In exchange I asked him to gather hisbest undead buddies and stalk me throughmy friend's yard. And oh, yeah, it wastotally fine if they wanted to use me as an all-night dinner buffet, because having organs is so last season."

"You have more issues than Reader's Digest."
Explore more quotes by Elle Lothlorien

"I'm almost afraid to tell you. Let's put it this way: clean toilets are the least of your problems in this country."

"Turns out rolling your eyes in a bar when 'Land Down Under' plays is like someone belching during the Star Spangled Banner in America."

"Once the principals in their party are seated, with those lower on the totem pole left to grumble and move on to find another table, our once-cozy booth transforms into a damp fusion of vacuous wretchedness, with the three women all complaining alternately about their wet hair/clothes and their respective distance from Talon, while the man himself is trying to maneuver his Paul Bunyan frame way too close to me."

"And just so you know-that winter forest we walked into first? That was from Through the Looking Glass too. Hey, if you're going to saddle me with the blame for your overconsumption, at least get the book right."

"I try not to laugh too loud, afraid a bark-like noise will be mistaken by any great whites lurking in the area as the distress call of a juvenile seal."

"Oh, Alice, you haven't even had a taste of my romantic streak yet. And when the time's right I don't think I'll have to 'try' to have my way with you. I just WILL."

"Hey, any idea why Australians speak something that sounds deceptively like English but isn't? I mean, I'm trying to figure out why I can't seem to converse with another human being who speaks the same language as I do."
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