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Elle Lothlorien

"Well, Faye, dear, I'm sure Harlow's sorry she didn't think to ask if you'd been eaten by a shark. That's totally on her."

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"Well, Faye, dear, I'm sure Harlow's sorry she didn't think to ask if you'd been eaten by a shark. That's totally on her."

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Asa Don Brown

"You are not my sunshine. Sorry. You're more like a gust of arctic wind that bursts in and blows out all the candles when the door cracks open."

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"Right," Sadie said. "And Set will just stand there calmly while I read him to death."

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Asa Don Brown

"It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs."

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"If you are going to do that, would you mind not jostling the bed so much?' came a sarcastic voice near the head board. 'Perhaps you could roll around on the floor."

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Asa Don Brown

"You again, she said, and she did not sound happy."I know, the warrior replied with a heartfelt sigh. "You're so lucky to see me twice in one day. You're honored by my presence, yada, yada, heard it all before. Let's just move on, shall we. I don't handle fawning very well."

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Asa Don Brown

"Great! He has indigestion, so let's torture him with cake."

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Asa Don Brown

"Are you suggesting I'm working with thezombies? That I paid them to pretend toattack me so that I'd trick you into letting me join you?"Did you? Mr. Holland demanded."Yeah, okay, I said in a sugar-sweet tone. "You're right. I was having dinner with Zombie Carl the other night. You know, steaks, rare, and a bottle of vintage type A. He told me all his secrets, but too bad for you I promised him I wouldn't tell. In exchange I asked him to gather hisbest undead buddies and stalk me throughmy friend's yard. And oh, yeah, it wastotally fine if they wanted to use me as an all-night dinner buffet, because having organs is so last season."

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Asa Don Brown

"You are a sick, sick man, I told him."Thank you, Ben replied, looking modest."

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"What are you talking about?" Narcissus demanded. "I am amazing. Everyone knows this.""Amazing at pure suck," Leo said. "If I was as suck as you, I'd drown myself. Oh wait, you already did that."

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Asa Don Brown

"You have more issues than Reader's Digest."

Explore more quotes by Elle Lothlorien

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Elle Lothlorien
"Don't take this the wrong way, but Australians have a LOT of bitches on their cashola."
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Elle Lothlorien
"I'm almost afraid to tell you. Let's put it this way: clean toilets are the least of your problems in this country."
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Elle Lothlorien
"Turns out rolling your eyes in a bar when 'Land Down Under' plays is like someone belching during the Star Spangled Banner in America."
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Elle Lothlorien
"Once the principals in their party are seated, with those lower on the totem pole left to grumble and move on to find another table, our once-cozy booth transforms into a damp fusion of vacuous wretchedness, with the three women all complaining alternately about their wet hair/clothes and their respective distance from Talon, while the man himself is trying to maneuver his Paul Bunyan frame way too close to me."
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Elle Lothlorien
"And just so you know-that winter forest we walked into first? That was from Through the Looking Glass too. Hey, if you're going to saddle me with the blame for your overconsumption, at least get the book right."
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Elle Lothlorien
"How do you tactfully spin the term "man-whore to someone's sister?"
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Elle Lothlorien
"I try not to laugh too loud, afraid a bark-like noise will be mistaken by any great whites lurking in the area as the distress call of a juvenile seal."
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Elle Lothlorien
"Oh, Alice, you haven't even had a taste of my romantic streak yet. And when the time's right I don't think I'll have to 'try' to have my way with you. I just WILL."
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Elle Lothlorien
"Hey, any idea why Australians speak something that sounds deceptively like English but isn't? I mean, I'm trying to figure out why I can't seem to converse with another human being who speaks the same language as I do."
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Elle Lothlorien
"I don't think Australians ever use a couple of words when twenty will do just fine."
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