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"Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development
"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."
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Personal Development
"Laughter is carbonated holiness."
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Personal Development
"Well, I said, "you obviously have some power. You chased off those hooligans with rotten fruit. Perhaps you have banana-kinesis? Or you can control garbage? I once knew a Roman goddess, Cloacina, who presided over the city's sewer system. Perhaps you're related? Meg pouted. I got the impression I might have said something wrong, though I couldn't imagine what."
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"It's such a Bore Being always Poor."
Being
"When peoples care for you and cry for you, they can straighten out your soul."
Soul
"Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it."
Humor
"Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you."
Humor
"We Negro writers, just by being black, have been on the blacklist all our lives. Censorship for us begins at the color line."
Being
"I swear to the Lord, I still can't see, why Democracy means, everybody but me."
Democracy
"What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up Like a raisin in the sun?... Or does it explode?"
Dream
"An artist must be free to choose what he does, certainly, but he must also never be afraid to do what he might choose."
Freedom
"Beauty for some provides escape, who gain a happiness in eyeing the gorgeous buttocks of the ape or Autumn sunsets exquisitely dying."
Happiness
"Negroes - Sweet and docile, Meek, humble, and kind: Beware the day - They change their mind."
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