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Dave Attell

"You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike."

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"You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike."

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Donna Grant

"The doctrine that all men are, in any sense, or have been, at any time, free and equal, is an utterly baseless fiction."

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Donna Grant

"Be noble minded! Our own heart, and not other men's opinions of us, forms our true honor."

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Donna Grant

"Logical consequences are the scarecrows of fools and the beacons of wise men."

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Donna Grant

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.""

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Donna Grant

"Women hear rhythm differently than men."

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Donna Grant

"The wish to hurt, the momentary intoxication with pain, is the loophole through which the pervert climbs into the minds of ordinary men."

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Donna Grant

"What pisses me off is when I've got seven or eight record company fat pig men sitting there telling me what to wear."

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Donna Grant

"Wine hath drowned more men than the sea."

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Donna Grant

"A lot of 18-year-olds are like old men. They think they've seen everything."

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Donna Grant

"Men have to do some awfully mean things to keep up their respectability."

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Dave Attell
"What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin."

Fish

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Dave Attell
"Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick."

People

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Dave Attell
"Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people "the cops." But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!"

People

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Dave Attell
"You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike."

Men

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