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"A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funny bone - you either have it or you don't. And by the way - when you get it, we don't know it."
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"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
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Personal Development

"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
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Personal Development

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'"
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Personal Development

"A lot of the tabloid stories are written so well, they're very clever and very funny. But you have to focus on what's really important and not read them - don't dive into it and don't get caught up in it."
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Personal Development

"My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something - some people have a big butt, some people are insecure and at least you know what it is, even if it's a lump on your head. I know I have a lump on my head."
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Personal Development

"Things that go on at Happy Times are very funny this year, and if you were watching last year, some of the people you saw then as basically extras emerge as real characters in their own right this season, at least to some degree."
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"But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know."
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Personal Development

"Shirley MacLaine said, You're so funny, then gave me a hug. Everything went white. I couldn't hear, I couldn't see. I thought I was going to pass out."
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Personal Development

"The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining."
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Personal Development

"It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music."
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"I'm a charming coward; I fight with words."
Fight

"The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh."
Truth

"A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funny bone - you either have it or you don't. And by the way - when you get it, we don't know it."
Funny

"I think that comedy really tells you how it is. The other thing about comedy is that - you don't even know if you're failing in drama, but you do know when you're failing in comedy. When you go to a comedy and you don't hear anybody laughing, you know that you've failed."
Comedy

"Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff."
Comedians

"If you can get a laugh out of a name, you're ahead of the game."
Name

"Everybody wants to laugh - you know that. They need to laugh... people need to laugh."
People

"A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water."
People
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