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"A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funny bone - you either have it or you don't. And by the way - when you get it, we don't know it."
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"I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet."
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Personal Development

"It's funny; I actually made poorer decisions when I sobered up then when I was screwed up."
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Personal Development

"It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too."
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Personal Development

"Of course, the wind sort of swept up and the music was flying around in mid air and they were trying to play off it. You had to be there. It was quite funny."
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Personal Development

"It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music."
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Personal Development

"I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet."
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Personal Development

"I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny."
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Personal Development

"Only man has dignity; only man, therefore, can be funny."
Author Name
Personal Development

"My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something - some people have a big butt, some people are insecure and at least you know what it is, even if it's a lump on your head. I know I have a lump on my head."
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Personal Development

"It's so funny whenever things come full circle."
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"Everybody wants to laugh - you know that. They need to laugh... people need to laugh."
People

"I'm a charming coward; I fight with words."
Fight

"A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water."
People

"The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh."
Truth

"If you can get a laugh out of a name, you're ahead of the game."
Name

"A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funny bone - you either have it or you don't. And by the way - when you get it, we don't know it."
Funny

"I think that comedy really tells you how it is. The other thing about comedy is that - you don't even know if you're failing in drama, but you do know when you're failing in comedy. When you go to a comedy and you don't hear anybody laughing, you know that you've failed."
Comedy

"Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff."
Comedians
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