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Fred Allen

"I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin."

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"I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin."

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Amber Hurdle

"Only those who want everything done for them are bored."

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Amber Hurdle

"The only truly affluent are those who do not want more than they have."

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Amber Hurdle

"If you want to be loved, be lovable."

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Amber Hurdle

"What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others."

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Amber Hurdle

"I don't want any vegetables, thank you. I paid for the cow to eat them for me."

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Amber Hurdle

"It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

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Amber Hurdle

"They didn't want it good, they wanted it Wednesday."

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Amber Hurdle

"When we do a movie with the studios, they wouldn't be asking us to do it, I don't think, if it was a movie they wanted to get into themselves. What you see is what you get with us, so they let us do what we want to do."

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Amber Hurdle

"It's great to want to be part of something, but it's a different thing completely to believe wholly in some type of movement, and to give everything for that something."

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Amber Hurdle

"I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center."

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Fred Allen
"Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making."
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Fred Allen
"We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion."
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Fred Allen
"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."
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Fred Allen
"The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand."
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Fred Allen
"Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great."
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Fred Allen
"The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference."
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Fred Allen
"If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race."
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Fred Allen
"My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense."
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Fred Allen
"An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission."
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Fred Allen
"Imitation is the sincerest form of television."
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