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"I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. I think I must have been Adolf Hitler in a past life."
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"The condition you're in at this moment is the product of your previous thoughts, to change your condition, change your thoughts."
Personal Development

"Once born, how long a man will live matters. Once dead, how long he has lived doesn't."

"If you spend your life over analysing every encounter you will always see the tree, but never the forest."

"My father-in-law . . . was a great inspiration to me both in life and in his preparation for death."
Explore more quotes by Roseanne Barr


"As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job."


"A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego."


"I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them."


"Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself."


"Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with."
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