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"Humor is a tool to ease the harsh realities of life."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
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Personal Development
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"Live your life without ever having to ask, 'What if?"
Motivation
"I feel the reason we are all here, our purpose of being, is to help others find their little piece of happiness and heaven right here on earth."
Philosophy
"True beauty is a warm heart, a kind soul, and an attentive ear."
Morality
"Hard times define one's character."
Life
"The longer you remain distant, the deeper, wider, and darker the chasm becomes making it all the more difficult to bridge."
Relationship
"Is a self help or personal development book ruining your life?"
Self-Help
"You begins with 'Y'-so ask, observe, and listen."
Knowledge
"I try to avoid stories that end with...and he was never seen again."
Creativity
"Gifts are temporary and often forgotten, love is forever and always remembered."
Love
"Only the dreamer can envision and execute their dream, no one else can do it for them."
Motivation
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