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W. C. Fields

"Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people."

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"Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people."

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"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

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"People generally quarrel because they cannot argue."

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"There is hardly anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse and sell a little cheaper, and the people who consider price only are this man's lawful prey."

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"How long most people would look at the best book before they would give the price of a large turbot for it?"

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"I find that most people know what a story is until they sit down to write one."

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"A lot of people got lost in Hollywood while trying to become a star. They lost themselves."

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"You've got to clock the hours and pay your dues. Then eventually, people will come to you. You have to be patient and appreciative."

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"I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens."

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Amber Hurdle

"First, this isn't about telecommuting, because we still have offices that people will come to regularly when they need to brainstorm together, meet with clients, or do research in the library."

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Amber Hurdle

"Intellectuals are people who believe that ideas are of more importance than values. That is to say, their own ideas and other people's values."

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W. C. Fields
"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."
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W. C. Fields
"You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it."
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W. C. Fields
"Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life."
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W. C. Fields
"Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against."
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W. C. Fields
"The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive."
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W. C. Fields
"I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it."
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W. C. Fields
"The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves."
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W. C. Fields
"Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one."
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W. C. Fields
"It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it."
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W. C. Fields
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it."
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